Why not to date (me) the male ENFP

Ladies, throughout life you will probably date many people. Some of these relationships will work for only short periods of time, some will last a lifetime. The traits people look for in another person, when grouped together, work to commonly create a Jung-like personality type.Every human is in a different situation, and desires different qualities; These qualities can be found in one of the sixteen different personality types. So you have decided that you are looking for an highly outspoken, rule breaking, highly prideful,spontaneity filled, beyond arrogant, ever changing, long winded, word picky, know-it-all with a gentle side. Congratulations, you have just chosen a particularly peculiar personality the ENFP. You are either extremely bored, delusional, or insane at this point in your life. I say this because you have just chosen to date me. Now here is your warning.
There are many important factors in a long term partnership;however, I will cover three areas: Career, Family and Love, these are the areas that are addressed, using traits found in the ENFP males. These contradictory, flamboyant, gregarious, outrageous, supercharged, bouncing balls of chaos, destruction and love may, can, and will rain destruction upon these areas of your life.
An ENFP will change many careers over their lifetime and many career paths.Yes, I said change careers, these arrogant fools will try to change anything, at anytime and they are arrogant enough to try to change an entire career into something that matches their unique vision.Good luck trying to understand this vision.
They do not consider the practical implications in career moves, including but not limited to financial obligations, location or any other “logical” based decision.
You may find your ENFP is constantly getting fired for various seemingly unrealistic reasons such as insubordination.
“Unconventional and occasionally irreverent, ENFPs are seldom impressed by authority or rules. To the contrary! They pride themselves on their uniqueness and originality, they are talented at solving problems and overcoming obstacles, and they find creative ways to bend rules they consider unnecessary” Write Paul and Barbra Tieger in the book Just your type.
This includes any rules you, yourself are foolish enough to impose on the ENFP that they may disagree with. Oh and remember, you are only going to find out when the ENFP decides to break the rule, not when you make the rule. Make all the rules you want we love to break them.
You may also find that your ENFP has been fired for being intoxicated at work, or quit their job without regard anyone or anything in the household.
“ENFPs have what some call a ‘silly switch.’ They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance; they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the “switch” is flipped. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.”
ENFP’s hate conflict situations, in fact they will do everything in their power to avoid them. Telling your loved one you got fired is a conflict situation. I’ll let you put two and two together.
If you get in a relationship with an ENFP, you had either be rich or have a damn good savings plan.It is highly advised you take away his check book and A.T.M card.

The children of ENFP parents have no doubt in their mind that the ENFP love them; however, the ENFP creates a bipolar like bond with the child. “The ENFP exhibits an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child’s best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP’s genuine desire to relate to their children on the children’s level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child’s friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.”
Oh and since we are childlike in our nature, we know we know how to relate to the child better than you do. So be prepared for your style of parenting to be challenged and thwarted at every turn.

The trusty ENFP will also fuck up your kids socially, leading them down the rebel path of life that the ENFP lives. MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR GENERAL PROFILE published on the Purdue university website states. “As patrents, NF’s are sensitive to the viewpoint of their children, to the point of siding with them in a way, which reinforces the youngster’s antisocial, self-defeating behaviors.”

Besides raising your kid, the ENFP himself is a hypersensitive, overgrown, hyper emotional, Toys-R-Us kid; therefore, you will also be responsible for raising your ENFP.

An ENFP puts a great deal of emphasis on love; a love that is impossible, unrealistic, and unachievable to be given by another. The Purdue research again points to The Needy, clingy, attention whores ludicrous views.“compelled to pursue the impossible dream of a larger than life, giant-screen goddess who will be madonna, mistress, lover, whore ,mother, daughter, and wife,”

ENFP’S will make their mates a sexual experiment of:mind, body and soul. You’ll be required to give an unrealistic amount of physical attention to the ENFP, in addition you will never good enough be enough. “Sexually, The ENFP is creative, PERFECTIONIST, playful and affectionate” You will never be able to sexually satisfy the ENFP, you are not perfect, and if it’s not perfect we must do it again until it is.

In addition to the above list of requirements, you will also have to spend extraordinary amount of time, out of the house with your mate, and while you’re out of the house with him, he will be fantasying about every women that catches his eye.
“ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion…. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy”
No big problem you say to yourself, it’s just fantasy, and he says everything right? Wrong, remember telling you we are bored with you is a source of conflict. So all your going to get is another evasive mask.
Do you want to let this chaotic, romantically intoxicated being, going out among the streets alone? Remember they are bored and unhappy with you.
If you are still interested in a long term relationship with this brash, long winded, arrogant, sexual miscreant who will likely return home from work without a job, turn your kids into antisocial loners, prevent your parenting skills, requires you to be a nymphomaniac, all day, everyday, and will not communicate his unhappiness to you, can I have your phone number?


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42 thoughts on “Why not to date (me) the male ENFP

  1. Brian Andre` Kirton March 22, 2012 at 11:19 pm Reply

    I think i am ENPT, easily stressed as i emphasize on return from work to feel rewarded. I’m kinda of a go getta

    • insanekender March 22, 2012 at 11:21 pm Reply

      Brian that would be ENTP, and I am currently writing a paper on why not to date the ENTP, I’ll let you know when it is finished.

      • Brian Andre` Kirton March 22, 2012 at 11:27 pm

        i defintely would like to read that! 🙂
        What’s your occupation may i ask?

      • insanekender March 22, 2012 at 11:29 pm

        I am a computer programmer, going back to school to become a psychologist. I found an interest in the Myers-Briggs theory, and then developed my own theory which I now teach for a former psychologist professor after he teaches the MBTI. So I am a computer programmer, psychologist, Theorist.

      • Brian Andre` Kirton March 22, 2012 at 11:36 pm

        you should edit your about page then, i like this response much better! 🙂

  2. aggiedreamer March 30, 2012 at 4:03 pm Reply

    THAT was hilarious! I loved it!

  3. Cara March 31, 2012 at 1:28 am Reply

    Ever date an ENFP woman? “Now this is what it’s like when worlds COLLIDE!!” 🙂

  4. reelization April 1, 2012 at 9:20 am Reply

    haha great post! love the way you write btw 🙂

    • insanekender April 1, 2012 at 9:26 am Reply

      Thank you very much, random gorgeous woman.

  5. Landrus January 10, 2013 at 2:51 pm Reply

    I am an ENFP female, and I feel like I am a female, with masculine traits, or it’s just an ENFP thing. After reading your scenario, I have to agree with most all of it! I am fearful I am and have fucked up my son, because we both Sagittarian ENFPs. I type 7, he is type 2! HELP!!!!

    • insanekender January 11, 2013 at 8:33 am Reply

      “I am an ENFP female, and I feel like I am a female, with masculine traits, or it’s just an ENFP thing. ”
      A)Your masculine traits have less to do with your personality, and more to do with the environmental factors during childhood and adolescents.
      B) Where did you take your test? Online or in an office?

      ” I am fearful I am and have fucked up my son, because we both Sagittarian ENFPs. I type 7, he is type 2! HELP!!!!”
      A) Sagittarian actually has not bearing on a personality, astrology is a faith with no way to prove. I suggest you take them with as much seriousness as a fortune in a fortune in a fortune cookie.
      B)How old is your son? if he is under 16 you will not be able accurately measure his type then yo still may find this innaccurate the best age to measure is 21 for females and 24 for males .
      C)Type 2 and Type 7 have no reference , I am making the assumption your are talking about ennergrams. If you 2’s and 7’s actually work better together.

      And last but not least, ever parent I have ever met has always wished they did or didn’t do something during their children’s childhood. They also are concerned about the damage that our behaviors have caused our children. I would be a lot more worried about you if you weren’t worried about what your behavior does to your child.

  6. Sherry March 7, 2013 at 12:47 pm Reply

    Thanks for the info! I came to know only today that I am an ENFP (online test)..are not you disregarding the fact that ENFPs are highly empathetic, and put “value” in life’s center therefore they are loyal, most of the time…yes? no? maybe?

    • insanekender March 8, 2013 at 1:42 am Reply

      The paper was written for a writing class, I purposely left out those parts, because they are for the follow up paper. Why to date the male Enfp. Yes Enfp’s are fiercely loyal, unless they feel they have been betrayed. Also, online tests are notoriously unreliable, I highly suggest you confirm you results with the official Myers-Briggs test. Many people who take the online test and test out as an ENFP often test out as an ESFP on the official test.
      how many test did you take and which site did you take them at?

  7. Sherry March 27, 2013 at 7:36 am Reply

    I took the online test on 16personalities . com, did just one test…

  8. Mark Aquino May 16, 2013 at 8:00 pm Reply

    I think the financial stuff is not necessarily true. Some of us are arrogant AND avaricious. But the rest, yea.

  9. […] Why not to date (me) the male ENFP | insanekender Not sure whether to laugh hysterically or be really worried and take it seriously so what do you think of what this guy says? Reply With Quote […]

  10. matt hale August 14, 2013 at 9:58 pm Reply

    haha i am an enfp and what you say is so true – i was laughing all the way through 🙂
    is it really so much to ask for a woman who will be a madonna, mistress, lover, whore ,mother, daughter, and wife?
    not asking for a lot haha

    anyways it would be good to connect with another enfp so add me on facebook – look for matt hale (i have a cover photo with several friends chilling on an adventure)


  11. Deanne August 25, 2013 at 9:16 pm Reply

    This was my ex-ENFP boyfriend….unbelievably accurate. Could not take his insufferable behaviour and left him because he wouldn’t make an effort to change.

  12. RageaholicsAnonymous October 24, 2013 at 6:04 pm Reply

    Hey, great post! But I’m an ENFP male and have held down a job (albeit intoxicated at times and not being very satisfied) for five years!…wait…then again…I have no savings. Shit. Okay, so maybe you /are/ pretty damn accurate. This article was super amusing 🙂 loved it. Bring on the rebel-loving ladies…

  13. R November 5, 2013 at 4:57 pm Reply

    i recently got out of a relationship with an ENFP…he was basically all this. terrible twist? i’m starting to get involve with his business partner, who happens to be one of my really good friends…and another ENFP :-o. i myself am an ENTP. on which note, did you ever do that paper about ENTPs?

    • insanekender December 22, 2013 at 8:14 am Reply

      I am actually working on doing a paper about ENTP’s however I need to find one that will interact with me long enough on the paper to finish it.

  14. Enfp716 February 20, 2014 at 4:30 am Reply

    Very nice!

  15. Donna April 7, 2014 at 3:55 pm Reply

    Would it not be beneficial for an male ENFP and female ENFP to date?! Both being on the same intoxicatingly romantic spazzy level?! lol As a female ENFP and Scorpio, the whole madonna, whore, mother, wife thing comes naturally! lol

  16. Billy April 28, 2014 at 10:08 pm Reply

    I’m an ENFP as well….can’t say I agree with a great deal of what’s here. I’m 41 years old, and haven’t experienced a number of these things…suppose everyone is different. Could relate to a few of them I suppose though. Good luck! Seems you might need it, with the ladies that is.

  17. Rachel June 15, 2014 at 6:13 pm Reply

    I am an INFJ, and according to Myers Briggs, ENFP is my ideal relationship match.

    I can’t say I don’t agree. I feel like a very healthy and self-aware INFJ might be one of the only kinds of people who can handle all of those characteristics you described!

  18. Rachel June 15, 2014 at 6:15 pm Reply

    And by nature, INFJ will not be satisfied unless they are taking on the highest possible challenge for themselves in all areas of their lives. The ENFP throws a lot of curves, but their passion keeps the INFJ excited and interested and the INFJ’s support might curb the ENFP’s impulsive side a bit and keep them grounded in what they have.

  19. Victoria July 6, 2014 at 9:10 pm Reply

    Omygosh, this is me to a T… I really should just stay single, I’m not sure how Daniel deals with this.

  20. ohnonotagain August 11, 2014 at 5:42 am Reply

    Some of this is accurate like the sexual perfectionism and getting fired. I can say as a male ENFP I am an excellent saver – its part of my desire to control my own life and have freedom to decide what I do for work. We’re long-range planners. If I were a woman I’d way rather be with an ENFP – we’re caring, stimulating, and take your breath away. Maybe wait until we’re older, seasoned, and able to settle down a bit (I’m over 40).

  21. Tom January 13, 2015 at 11:47 pm Reply

    Pretty confronting. So no hope for ENFP’s?

    • insanekender January 15, 2015 at 4:06 am Reply

      There is always hope, the only time there is no hope is when we chose to be hopeless.

    • insanekender February 16, 2015 at 5:42 pm Reply

      There is always hope, until you lose hope.

  22. Alice July 8, 2015 at 6:29 am Reply

    Loved the article! I’m an ENFP woman and saw myself in everything that was written. I’m also in a relationship with an ENFP man and saw him too which makes me wonder if this will be compatible in the long run.
    For now, we’re having LOADS of fun, always surprising each other, caring and being attentive to each other’s reactions.
    In a short period of time, I turned into his wife, his sister, his mistress, his best mate and his whore, and he my father, brother, enthusiastic lover… (pretty incestuous by the way). I’m letting you imagine how it’s like when both our ‘’silly switched’’ are on !
    I’ve always been amused when he tells me about how he insulted his boss (even though well, it’s his boss who must be like 20 years older than him), probably because I know I could do the exact same thing.
    This relationship is very intense, tiring sometimes as we’re always on our toes. One minute of being ignored by him and I’m already despairing and planning on taking my stuff and visit some other man (or more like, going on a trip), and one minute of me being uninteresting would lead him to take interest in some other women, I can sense it. Of course we’d do it without ever confronting the other about what we feel cause hey… we hate conflict! Also, we don’t want to appear to be smothering the other. And we’re prideful.
    Not an easy ride that one. If the adventure continues, my kids are SO fucked up. Okay, for their sake I might have to go seek a nice INFJ or something (are their rebel enough though?) 😉

  23. purpleshark September 7, 2015 at 1:28 am Reply

    i’m an ENFP , and i don’t need this negativity in my life 😛

  24. Jennifer November 8, 2015 at 5:24 am Reply

    I think you are a wonderful writer. I enjoyed reading all of your insights. However, I’m a bit torn on this. I am INFJ and my ex who is only my ex because he had to move back to his country, was and is an absolutely amazing person. He is the only ENFP I have ever been with. He was the only real love of my life. Maybe it’s because in theory, our personalities are supposed to be the ideal match for one another.

    The negative traits you speak of are there, yes.. but everything else that he is makes up for that a hundred times over. Brightest, most intellectually stimulating person I have met. Protective, warm-hearted and extremely affectionate. I always felt safe and loved with him. Not once did he let me doubt his feelings for me. I can’t say that for any past relationship.

    Maybe ENFP males have some issues that the rest of the world can’t grasp or understand but there is a type that I believe is very well suited for them. Someone who understands them on a deep level and who is often misunderstood by the majority as well. INFJ.

    I miss him dearly and will always have nothing but wonderful things to say about him. There truly is no one else for me.

  25. Sarah January 6, 2016 at 1:24 am Reply

    I just found out my personality type is an enfp… After reading all the negative perspectives regarding being an enfp. It is really discouraging and it makes me feel less of a person. I’m a pretty sensitive individual and at times can be obnouix to some degree. Yes, I have walked out on a job… But things always work out and it always gets better. When one door closes another
    door opens. I’m currently at a job where my coworkers appreciate and love me, for my optimistic can do attitude! I would never leave… Anyways, I think I’m going to have to change my personality because these negative characterists just don’t sit well with me. -a true female enfp personality

  26. Isabella Granger May 2, 2016 at 12:53 pm Reply

    I am a female ENFP. Though I find this to be somewhat accurate at some point, I think your goal was to make us seem as insensitive jerks. I don’t agree with all the stuff you wrote here. Though we love to change things, and tend to drop everything at the last minute if we don’t feel comfortable with it, we’re highly worried about our lover’s concerns, to the point of making them our own problems and saying ”Don’t worry! I’ll fix it for you!”, so there’s NO WAY we will ruin our partner’s career out of a whim. Being an ENFP doesn’t mean we’re not concerned about personal growth and others, and that we’re insufferably arrogant immature people. Honestly speaking, I find this to be extremely insulting. And YES, I AM a true ENFP. So, no offense, but don’t come question me about my type as you did with others. Man, I never thought I’d dislike a so said male ENFP. Like, I don’t know you, but you make it seem as if you were a complete jerk. I’m sorry if I get it the wrong way, but that’s how you make it seem. Though you might’ve intended to exaggerate, other types won’t find this as such. Geez.

    • insanekender May 3, 2016 at 7:59 pm Reply

      Just an FYI the paper was written in school for a writing paper. I wrote it as a way to ask my professor on date. It’s sarcasms and over embellishments.

  27. marquece johnson May 23, 2016 at 8:47 pm Reply

    I loved this it was pretty funny (fellow enfp male)

  28. liswinkl August 17, 2016 at 8:44 pm Reply

    I’m an ENFJ and an ENFP is all I need. Absolutely love the last paragraph.

  29. intj female November 4, 2016 at 1:15 am Reply

    Are you claiming that male ENFPS are highly likely to exhibit Narcissistic traits? What you have described above is my ex husband and after leaving him (I am Intj female) I find myself attracting other Enfp males, however I find their clingness stifling to say the least, and definitely would not like to repeat the above scenario which has been my life for the past decade. Thank you for the insights.

  30. Nate Ronquillo November 4, 2016 at 9:29 am Reply

    Ha Im an ENFP male.. This reminds me of this video I made in 2008 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgXYjKodP84

  31. Brian Alexander McClean March 4, 2017 at 1:57 am Reply

    This is scarily so true lol

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